Category Archives: family

How to be a good wife

"Women pray during Friday noonday prayer ...

Image via Wikipedia

Having written a book on how to find a husband following God’s will, I thought I might write a sequel called How to be a good wife following God’s will.  I started outlining and doing a little research and discovered two things: 1) there are lots of good books on the subject, 2) I am too new at being a wife to give others advice.  I will share a few things I’ve learned and that I would pass on to even newer wives than me:

 1)      Don’t sweat the small stuff – if you are in it for the long haul, as you should be, do many of the teeny irritations really matter.  Speak up on big things but please ladies, choose your battles.

2)      Be kind: remember that you love this guy.  That you are his friend.  Show him that you care.

3)      Listen more than you talk.  Gee, I should really take my advice.

4)      Try to be supportive: ask yourself, what does he need most from me, and try to give it to him.

5)      Do what you can to make yourself fulfilled and happy and you will be a happier and more fulfilling wife.  

6)      Pray for your husband: never underestimate the power of prayer.  When you pray for your husband you bring graces to him, and it also softens you and makes you love him more.

Don’t you just love being married?

Marriage

Image by Lel4nd via Flickr

I never knew that being married would be so great.  In my fairy tale way I knew I wanted to be married – to the knight in shining armor and all.  But I had no idea on such a basic level how fulfilling it would be.  My husband is so many things to me.  He is my defender, protector and supporter.  He is my confidant.  He is a companion and friend.  He does everything with me from the most mundane (grocery shopping), to the cozy (sitting on the couch watching Seinfeld re-runs), to the romantic (dinners out for two).  He goes on trips with me to the beach or to visit family.  We cook together, eat together, sleep together, laugh together, sometimes fight together.  For many of you this may not seem like much.  But to someone who has wanted to married for a long time and who has alternatively resisted commitment out of fear, this is no small deal.  My husband means so much to me both as an individual and in that important and meaningful role as husband.

Bug Party

One of my co-workers was planning a bug party for her little girl.  She wanted all kinds of cute buggy things.  More pretty buggy than ugly buggy if you know what I mean.  In another life, I ‘m going to be a party planner – or at least a party buyer.  I found all kinds of cute things on the web and thought I’d share with anyone who wanted to host such a party.  Here’s just a few things to get you started.

Backyard Bugs Cakelet Pan

Lady Bug Appetizers

Lady Bug Party Favors

Gummi Worm Dirt Cups

Lady Bug Shoes and Other Stuff

All kinds of cute ladybug party stuff on etsy

By the way, in case you’ve never heard of Etsy, www.etsy.com it’s an online venue for buying handmade crafts.  Really cool.  I bought a baby blanket, a cool big sis t-shirt, and a belly dancing scarf.  I promise to do a post just on how much I love Etsy one day. 

I don’t have small children but this stuff is so cute, I almost want to have a ladybug party for adults!

You don’t have to go crazy or spend tons of money.  I find budgeting is the key.  Decide how much you want to spend total and on each item and stick to it.  Choose 3-4 things you’ll buy or make.  You can get lots of ideas from a web search, magazines, craft stores.  Find a friend or a relative that would have fun helping you.  It’s a lot easier with help.

Have fun!  Go buggy!

Been Gone

Picture by Stacey Michelle

I’ve been traveling.  I went to visit relatives in West Virginia.  I had a ball.  There were family cookouts.  Yard sales.  Fish sandwiches.  Dollar stores and Big Lots.  I cooked and baked.  And ate!  A lot!  Back on the dietary straight and narrow.

I have lots more family memories.  I took many pictures and plan to make a photo journal on Shutterfly.  I have a new cousin who is 3 months old.  I got to hold him a lot and feed him.

Back at work.  Last night I made the cake in a mug and it was good! 

http://ovenhaven.wordpress.com/2010/07/19/5-reasons-to-mug-a-cake-in-5-minutes/

My last junk before eating well again.  Today for lunch I have a salad.  :(

On Hope

Picture by A Perfect Heart

Here are two passages on hope that I read recently.  I hope you enjoy them.  (No pun intended!)

 From Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout

And then as the little plane climbed higher and Olive saw spread out below them fields of bright and tender green in this morning sun, farther out the coastline, the ocean shiny and almost flat, tiny white wakes behind a few lobster boats – then Olive felt something she had not expected to feel again: a sudden surging greediness for life. She leaned forward, peering out the window: sweet pale clouds, the sky as blue as your hat, the new green of the fields, the broad expanse of water – seen from up here it all appeared wondrous, amazing. She remembered what hope was, and this was it. That inner churning that moves you forward, plows you through life the way the boats below plowed the shiny water, the way the plane was plowing forward to a place new, and where she was needed.  She had been asked to be part of her son’s life.

 From “The Hope that Springs from the Mustard Seed” by Father Bede Jarrett, O.P.

Failure counts for nothing; defeat, disappointment – these matter nothing at all, so long as hope sits patiently , stirring the embers, watching and tending the fire, coaxing the flame, never despairing and never leaving the wind to work its will. That the clouds should come up over the sky, or that darkness should encircle the earth, brings no real terrors, for we are sure that the dawn will come out again and that the sun will break through with its golden glory.

Mothering a Teen

Picture by Her Wings

Where do I begin?  How about at the beginning?  When you have a baby you barely think about having a teenager.  My teenager is almost out of teenagehood.  He will be 20 in January.  It’s all about letting go.  You start letting go almost as the minute they are born.  The first big letting go is day care.  You actually leave them in someone else’s care.  Letting go of your child into adult hood is like releasing them to their own care.  

With a 19 year old you don’t have to watch them all day.  It helps that you are in the house with them.  They need access to you when they need you.  It’s a gentle guidance.  You can be tough but not in a nagging way.  They won’t listen to that.  You picture yourself that age – a know it all.  You think your parents are dumb or at least just don’t get it.  It’s true to a certain extent.  I don’t get his world.  20 year olds are a different breed from me.  Things were not the same as they are now when I was 20.

I listen to him and try to guide him.  I try not to roll my eyes when he says something that I think is foolish.  I try to remind myself that I was like that once.  I felt invincible.

Mostly I pray like crazy for him.  I hope that all I have tried to teach him all these years will somehow stay with him and blossom.  I hope he can take care of himself.  I hope he will make wise decisions.  I have to remember that God is watching over him.  He can make mistakes and still survive.  He is like a baby who is left accidentally on top of a car and falls without a scratch.  God protects babies and fools.  Protect my child dear Lord!

Trip to the Beach

Picture by Cygnus921

Just got back from a quick trip to the beach.  We had a great time.  Family bonding.  Gazing at the ocean.  Boardwalk trekking.  Highlights were salt water taffy, fresh-squeezed lemonade, and boardwalk fries.  Priceless moments: playing video games with my son.  Air hockey.   My husband on the arcade motor cycle.  Trading in 100 tickets for a deck of cards.  And my all time favorite: stopping at the fresh produce stands on the way home.  I bought some beautiful blackberries and made a blackberry cobbler last night.  More cake-like than cobbler-like but yummy nevertheless.

My Dad

Picture by ilovemypit

As you know, it was Father’s Day yesterday.  I purposefully didn’t think about my Dad much yesterday.  I guess I didn’t want to feel too sad.  I miss him so much.  He died when I was 18.  I focused on my husband who is stepfather to my 19 year old son.  That was easier.  However, how can you not think of your own father on Father’s Day?

At church, I couldn’t help but think of him.  My Dad was a very spiritual person.  He raised me in the Catholic Church, which he loved.  But during his mid-life years, he started searching.  He brought us to Quaker meetings and eventually to the Unitarian Church.  He believed deeply in God and passed that on to me.  He also believed fiercely in being kind to others. 

My Dad loved life.  He had a huge bellowing laugh.  He loved food.  He baked chocolate chip cookies from scratch, loved the Dallas Cowboys, and played golf.  He was a people person and was well liked by others.  He was very passionate and had a temper.  But when you were the apple of his eye, as I was, he could melt you with his warmth. 

I mourn the fact that he never got to see me as an adult.  Never got to meet my son, his grand child.  I wish I could call him up sometimes or invite him to dinner.  He would have appreciated my culinary attempts.  But mostly I just miss being in his presence.  Sitting at the kitchen table with him, talking, laughing, arguing, looking into that light brown face with the big brown eyes and great smile.

Love you Daddy.  Happy Father’s Day.

Silver or Black – You Decide

Picture by Heather Parker

I am wearing a pink dress to a May wedding and need to decide between silver and black shoes and accessories.  What do you think?